I have been feeling an intense sense of female admiration recently and I have a hunch that it’s not just me. That something about the ebbs and flows of the female experience in our society has brought us to this moment. A moment in which the feminine is magnetic.
For millennia, male sexuality has been explored in a public domain. In the early modern period, it was expected for a man of a certain social standing to have a court boy who followed him round and sucked him off when his wife wasn’t looking. Poetry oozed with homoeroticism and since your wife was chained to the oven at home, the only way to declare manhood in the work place was to shag your counterparts and quite literally put your dick on the table.
Women on the other hand, have a rather ambiguous sexual history. Ever since Eve ate that apple, men have been fearing female sexuality as though it were a three headed dragon. It often is, so I don’t blame them. Unlike men, women were defined by their marital status, marriage of course in ye olde day, could only be to a man. I’m not suggesting that lesbians didn’t exist, I’m just reiterating the heterosexual narrative of the female experience.
We are in the very early stages of women harnessing their own sexuality when you put it into the context of History. I do not mean to suggest that just because men shagged in the 16th century, it is easier to come out as gay in the 21st. But what I am noticing, is it seems that women have been through so many waves of feminism, unchaining themselves from the domestic, enduring the bitch slapping and entering the third wave, which seems like a period of recognition. A period of: ‘Oh my God babe, can you believe that we survived that?’ And it’s only now that I’m realising the impact that the binary (ternary) view of sexuality has had on me.
I love women. The women in my life are the petrol in my car. They fuel me, ensure I reach my destination. They are my inspiration and my fulfilment. We spent years snogging each other on dance floors and picking up the pieces when a man had set off an incendiary bomb. So now the platonic love is so potent, charged by Mother Nature and probably the moon, that my thought process is, if I hadn’t watched Cinderella and love actually so many times, would my love for dick be as strong as it is?
Probably not. Because all I want to do every day is be surrounded by incredible women. Because we are amazing aren’t we? We’re strong and resilient and sexy but scary and powerful yet maternal; we are everything. But alas, because of the way that society still views sexuality and gender, I am as straight as a fucking ruler and God only knows why, because men provide me with nothing but disappointment (no, not all of you, but most of you. I’m joking some of you.)
The point I think I’m veering towards is that we’re probably all a bit gay. Or at least we don’t know that we’re not until we’ve considered that we might be, or that we’d like to try. I’m aware that there are 16 different types of sexuality, perhaps more and it’s easy to believe that we’re really progressive and that if you want to fuck a girl you just can but, actually it’s too soon to tell. The LGBTQ+ community is thriving, but I’m not talking about the people who know and are entuned with their sexuality, I’m talking about the muggles that are straight because they believe that it’s the only option. The belief that if you fancied someone of the opposite sex you’re automatically gay and can no longer be straight. It’s not, and never has been that straight forward. I’m sure that there are plenty of people that dampen their curiosity and perhaps even feel ashamed of it. I wonder if a world will exist where the mere fact of pro-creation won’t dictate the sexuality of a generation, or at least try to.
It feels a little to me like history is repeating itself, although this time it’s the turn of women to love and fuck each other in the public domain. No longer are we susceptible to the idea that we should envy each other, instead, just like the men of a renaissance court, we’re yielding power and that collective female energy is strong and sexually charged.
Coming out as gay still holds many contextual difficulties and we are far away from a world in which coming out does not feel like an obligation. I do however, believe that experimentation is becoming more acceptable, and not just in a hippy trail, trendy way, but with a legitimate openness and curiosity about what the human experience could be.
The moral of the story is, the time that we’re approaching, of an attempt to live intuitively in spite of society’s framework, is exciting. Women crush Wednesday is turning into a whole god damn week and I am here for it. We’re lifting, illuminating and maybe shagging our way to empowerment. This isn’t to say that straight isn’t an option. Straight most definitely is an option. As I’ve mentioned before, and I’ll mention again, I love men. This form of empowerment can only be a good thing for everyone because it encourages authenticity and it provides space for learning and growth and understanding. Boys are invited on this uphill sprint, we’re all human, no matter the genitalia.
God it feels good to be liberated. Let the love in commence.