You talk about sex a lot so you must want to sleep with me, right?

The first thing I learnt about journalism was that there is no such thing as high brow and low brow. There is just good writing. This is the armour that I will wear when defending my choice to write about Love Island.

Love Island, whether you watch it or not, is a social commentary. It always brings to light some kind of current social issue or age old culturally ingrained behaviour.

In this case: ‘women can’t speak about sex openly, if they intend to refuse on having it with anyone that asks.’

As Maura would say: ‘It’s 2019 for fucks sake.’

Granted, she talks about sex a lot. She’s open about her fantasies, desires and to be honest is probably creating a sexy façade to intise the boys she fancies. I do it. I forget that demure is attractive and I go full frontal ‘yeah I like S&M’ on the first date.

I have done this on a date before. When he later dropped me off at my flat and I refused to let him in, it was as if I had just revealed that I was in fact a man and I’d managed to fool him. He couldn’t get his head around it. I wanted to talk about sex, be open and honest about what I did and didn’t like – but I didn’t want to put any of that into practice. With him.

I pondered this situation. Re-called my words and considered the idea that I may have been in the wrong. Maybe I led him on, maybe I felt uncomfortable for good reason, maybe if you talk the talk you need to walk the walk. But then I stopped being a misogynist. I stopped regurgitating patriarchal stereo-types and I metaphorically slapped my self around the face. I can walk the walk – I wasn’t lying about any of those things, how much I enjoy sex or being chocked every once in a while. I do enjoy those things, in the comfort of a loving, mutually consensual relationship. Not with an arse hole that demands sex and is incapable of realising the difference between comment and action.

At the risk of sounding like a man hating, bra burning fascist-feminist. I love men. I know men that would never assume they were entitled to sex or any action at all, but would be greatful if it came to them. I know men that treat their other halves like Queens. That look at them as if they are Goddesses from another planet. I know men that would just as quickly give a massage or a spoon than receive a blow job. Obviously they exist. But, even those men, if pushed, I’m sure couldn’t deny that there is a difference in the cultural acceptance of how women and men are permitted to speak about sex.

In this case, Tom, is that his name? I actually don’t even know the dick head’s name because this is the first thing that he’s said all series. It is Tom. In this case Tom was boasting to the boys. Laughing, joking, getting excited off the prospect of getting his dick wet. Sorry to be crude, but that was the tone with which he spoke. He was well aware that Maura was in ear shot, but thrived off of it. It fuelled his engine and he rode the wave of feeling masculine and god like, because he had a girl asking him to spend the night with her. Not to sleep with her!!

Rightly so, Maura kicked off. She over heard what he was saying and she put him in his place. Tom couldn’t even defend himself, he reverted to being mute. The comment itself wasn’t that offensive: ‘it’ll be interesting to see if she’s all mouth’. It was the way in which he did it, the smirk on his face, the knowledge that she was in ear shot and the need to pound his chest in front of the other monkeys. It’s so arrogant to assume that he would be the one to decipher her sex drive. To assume that all she has been talking about, despite the fact that she has only slept with five people (argue amongst yourselves), means that she is indebted to her words. A slave to her open and public attitude to her sex life.

This resonated so strongly with me, not only do I speak very openly about sex in my personal life but, I write a blog about cum stained skirts and defensive blow jobs. What does this mean for me? That I’m expected to let you jizz on my skirt and instantly fall to my knees on our first date?! It just wouldn’t happen. If anything, my openness around sex has made me protective of my sexuality, more aware of what I need, want and far less willing to have bad sex with just anybody.

This is why high brow just doesn’t exist. In this ‘trash’ TV we’ve seen a prime example of social inequality. Stigma around female sex and the ancient idea that women can’t speak about intercourse without being branded as a slut. It’s also within ones right to not talk about sex. To keep it private and sacred. To express it only to those that you let close to you. Either way, assumptions drawn from ones attitude towards sex are completely uncalled for especially when they are biased and slightly sexist.

It’s 2019 for gods sake. x

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