Focusing your attention…

Being mindful, patient and completely aware of how one is reacting and conducting oneself on a day to day basis is exhausting, As we all know, nothing worth having ever comes easy. Recently, in order to counter act my negative thoughts and manage the things that make me feel incapable of reaching this state of serenity, I am trying to give as much attention to the things that do the opposite. The things that help me forget about the small stuff because there is so much more to be grateful for.

Every day at least one of these things will stand to threaten my zen (this is an edited list because to be honest I could probably fill a book.)

Things that irritate me… 

  • Realising that you’ve run out of toilet paper, once you have sat down on the toilet.
  • People that don’t listen fully to a story, or don’t understand so subsequently murmur ‘wait, what?’ or ‘can you start from the beginning?’ exposing my significant lack of context and assumption that they should ‘just know’ what I’m talking about.
  • Greed.
  • News stories that make me want to cry and sign up to live on Mars.
  • The position I have to get into in order to cut my toenails.
  • My phone.
  • Noises that are made by people’s mouths or noses in public places. This could include sniffing, chewing or talking loudly about what outfit Amy is going to wear on Saturday night.
  • Mess.
  • Most men. Especially when deciding that they don’t love me anymore, or when mansplaining to me something that I already know.
  • Having a period.
  • Spending time with someone that looks at their phone screen more than my face,
  • People that say ‘excuse my French’ after they swear. Last time I checked fuck and twat aren’t in the French dictionary.
  • People that say ‘last time I checked’. When did you check Debora? Do you tend to do that in your spare time? No, didn’t think so.
  • Piers Morgan talking out-loud.
  • Politicians.
  • Bad sex.
  • Seeing people be affectionate and snog on the street. It’s rude and nasty and reminds me that I’m single.
  • Brexit negotiations.
  • Dust particles.
  • Feeling like I have to go and get my vagina waxed even though it costs me money and it hurts.

Both trivial and gargantuan annoyances, all equally at risk of threatening my attempt to be accepting of everyone and everything. Like an ointment, I apply the things that I am grateful for, things that make me jubilant, until the pain has gone away.

Things that elate me… 

  • Plants. In my room, in nature, in photographs. All plants.
  • Spending time with people that inspire and elevate me. Whilst making me laugh and noticing when my glass needs topping up.
  • Seeing people be affectionate and snog on the street. It’s passionate and beautiful and reminds me that love actually is all around.
  • The smell of something baking in the oven or frying in the pan.
  • Wellies.
  • Being outside, even when it’s raining, especially when it’s raining.
  • My phone.
  • A warm bath with candles, bubbles and music.
  • The moment that you step off if a plane and the heat wraps around you like a much needed hug.
  • Jodie comer in Killing Eve,
  • The smell of a baby’s head.
  • Good Sex.
  • Anything covered in chocolate, with chocolate in the middle and chocolate around my mouth.
  • Getting to the end of a book and wanting to read it again.
  • Recommendations for anything, food, TV, who to date, where to shop, jobs to apply for, face cream to use… Recommendations for anything.
  • Taking off my bra after a really long day.
  • Seeing people I love achieve greatness and accomplish things that for a little while existed only in their dreams.
  • Kid’s when they point at someone and say something utterly outrageous that we all want to know the answer to.
  • Clean sheets.
  • Being surrounded by people I love; feeling safe and warm in their company.
  • Drinking cold Corona from a bottle, when the slice of lime has just been pushed in.

I could add more to this list. More delights that make me feel elated. I find something new everyday. Today I realised how being around new, exciting and inspiring people blurs out the small stuff that tends to get me down, or shift my mood. How grateful I am for a clean house and shelter from the cold. Something as simple as a steaming coffee can make me forget about the spot on my face or the state of British politics. I suppose where you focus your energy tends to reflect on how you feel. Focus on the elation, and the irritation will be slowly, but surely drowned out. x

 

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